Monday 22 February 2016

Feeling Loved.

Hello everyone, 

Well I didn't think I would be writing a post like this for a long time but here we are, I couldn't dive into writing up some hauls or anything else as I just had all these feelings and thoughts of how lucky and happy I am lately. This will basically be a list of all the cute things that my boyfriend has done for me recently so I 100% don't blame you if you don't want to continue reading this, it's just a little something to document my feelings for the future.


November. The month I met him, whilst being slightly intoxicated, in the middle of one of my favourite weekday clubs..typical Essex love story. We danced, we spoke, we exchanged numbers and then we kissed. I thought that this would be a typical drunk thing and never speak to each other again until my phone flashed, about 2 hours after going home from the club, with a text saying the standard 'nice to meet you' and we spoke constantly for the next few weeks, even when I flew off to Lanzarote! We arranged a date for when I got back, The Good Dinosaur was a perfect choice for two Disney nerds like us, he was so gentlemanly and just everything I would want from a first date.

February. Fast forward a little bit and here we are, lets start with the 13th as this was the day that I got the cutest surprise and our relationship officially started. I always work on Saturdays and I just really wasn't feeling it on this particular day, I was in such a good mood but I wanted to go and live my life not be stuck in work. Anyway I'd been working and keeping myself busy to try and make the time go faster when one of my favourite women who works there comes into the kitchen grinning from ear to ear and told me to come out into the seating area, usually she would find a good looking guy and come tell me so I was expecting to look for some eye candy, when I looked up I saw my guy standing there holding the cutest bunch of flowers with a little, dopey smile on his face. Now I don't really know what my reaction was apart from smiling like an idiot and just saying this was all cute, to be perfectly honest I was just in utter shock I still can't believe he planned that all out..anyway long story short he gave me a beautiful bunch of flowers and asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said yes!


Valentines Day. The day of love started off, for me, with a 6:30am alarm to get myself to work and the person who was 'in charge' on that day is also a woman I have a slight disliking to..brilliant start! After a pretty mediocre shift, I mainly just spoke to one of the guys about random topics, I went home and had a lovely Lush bath to unwind and to get ready for the night. My boyfriend picked me up, bonus points to him for actually meeting me at the door instead of getting a message and him waiting in the car, and then he drove to the cinema where we went to see Deadpool, as we pulled up snow started falling! Luckily the weather didn't set but he did offer me to wear his coat, I felt too bad and let him keep it as we were both freezing though. As for the film it was absolutely brilliant and I loved every second of it, when that had finished we drove back to mine where we just cuddled and spoke about anything that came to mind. It was a pretty perfect night. 


This sounds like the biggest cliche in the world but I honestly feel like the luckiest girl! Never has a guy treated me like a true princess, it's so rare to find someone who doesn't just want sex and cares about the relationship as well as me, and that makes me feel so loved it's unreal, also he makes all the bad relationships and guys I've been through so worth the heartache. It's just the little things like we went out for dinner the other night and I insisted on splitting the bill and he just said I've got this and even when we're just watching a film I can see him out of the corner of my eye just looking at me, watching all my facial expressions but most importantly he remembers everything I say even from our very first conversations together. He's never heard me say this but I want him to be in my life for a very long time as it's just natural and easy, how real relationships should be. 
I'm so excited for our story to continue.  




Wednesday 17 February 2016

Primark Haul #2.

Hello everyone,

The last time I went to Primark I did a fair bit of on damage to my bank account, still the amount I spent wasn't near the amount of my biggest Primark shop..lets just say that's almost £200, that one still shocks me really! I don't think I've ever been so satisfied with everyone single thing that I picked up but I honestly love everything from this little haul.


Now before we start the photos annoy me as well as the lighting kept changing in my room but couldn't see the difference that much until I imported them on my laptop, but you can still get the idea! Also I lost my receipt so I can't put the official prices down as I can't find a lot of the things on the website so in my mini description I'll put a rough guess as to how much they were.


Hogwarts top
Now I'm a complete sucker for an easy wear slogan top, especially if it's Harry Potter themed! I think the gold Hogwarts crest sort of swung my decision to buy this as it just completed the top. I think this top was £7/8, basing this on other Potter tees I've bought in the past.


Blouse
I went through a phase when I was about 16/17 when I would always wear a collared blouse as I was obsessed with the style but collars can annoy me after a few washes as they never seem to sit perfectly in line with each other again! I saw this and thought I needed, the colour is more of a burnt orange than a bright shade. I tried this on at home and the high neck is perfect for me and there's a really cute zip detailing on the back. I'm pretty sure this cost £10. 
 
 
 Mickey top
When I got this top I wasn't really too sure about wearing it in public, it was for more of a slouchy top for home but when I trying this on I realised it's probably the cutest thing ever! I love the vintage look of it, my cousin had a top like this years ago, and will be perfect for my Disneyland trip in September! I can't really remember the price for this but I think it was about £10 or under.
 

Pyjama top
I already own a fair few slogan tops that have the theme of Finding Nemo on them so when I saw these I thought it would be brilliant to expand that theme into my pyjamas. Originally I weren't going to buy them as I have probably too many pj's but I couldn't really leave this, I just love Dory's expression!
 
 
 Pyjama bottoms
I wasn't prepared to buy the top with the matching bottoms, and with the cute clown fish pattern on the bottoms they made the pyjama set complete!

 
 Slippers
I picked up a pair of slippers for my mums pamper hamper that I'm making for her. The normal size that she would wear looked far too small so considering they're just for the house I can't really do any harm if they're a little big but they look like they'll be fine.
 
 
 Storage box
Lastly I picked up this cute little box hold everything in my mums pamper themed present, my friend had a cute idea of tying little things in the middle of the hearts so that's what I plan to do. I'm pretty 
sure this was £6.
So that's everything I got from Primark, next time I'll put the receipt in a safe place!!




 
 

 

Friday 12 February 2016

Lush Haul #2.

Hello everyone,

If you read my most recent post you'd know that I had a little shopping spree with two friends, if you haven't read it yet then click here to read about that. I spent probably more than I should have and splurged in Lush to get some Mothers Day goodies and some little treats for myself. So here's what I bought!


Some of these things are gifts and they're all new products for me as well which I find very exciting! My Lush box that's sitting in my room is overflowing now, like seriously I still have some Christmas bits in there.

I saw this bubble bar and instantly fell in love, I got this to be in my mum's pamper hamper but I couldn't help picking one up for myself as well. It's possibly the most adorable bubble bar I've ever seen and my favourite thing in the Mothers Day range!



My hair has been so dry lately and just in pretty bad condition so I was looking around for some treatments then found this little beauty. It's a hot oil treatment so you just pop the kettle on and slowly melt the block down, I'll be reviewing this product very soon as I actually washed the treatment out about an hour ago and my hair already feels softer so I think this will become a recurring thing.


When I knew that I was making my mum a little hamper I sneakily looked through Lush with her to see what she liked, the last time we went into the shop together I remember her pointing this bath bomb out and saying how she thought it was the cutest thing so this was a must have for one of her items! I'm not sure how she'll feel about the rosebuds floating around in the water so I chose one that isn't overloaded with them just in case, I think she'll find it more relaxing than anything so that shouldn't be an issue.


I only went to pick up one of these as I loved the look and smell of this bath bomb but I thought it would be a cute addition for mum as well so I doubled up on this and no my dilemma is choosing the cutest one to give away.


My friend had recommended this product to me before so I was on a mission to finally buy it and I can't wait to pop this into my bath!


When I had my very first look at the Mothers Day range on their website I just had to have this, I'm in love with the novelty side of it. Being a lover of tea and especially 'dunk bags' as I like to call them I just thought this was the cutest! I'm not much of a fan of things floating around in the bath with me so when the tea bag actually releases some petals then I may have to scoop them out but who knows.


Now this is the last little beauty that I picked up and I either wanted to buy this or another bubble bar but as soon as I smelt this product I loved it, I know that this will sneak into my top favourites as the scent is to die for! Sorry Intergalactic but the top spot that you're sitting at just might be stolen by this blackcurrant babe.

Hope you enjoyed looking at what I picked up in the bathing mothership, I know I'm thrilled by the things I chose!




Wednesday 10 February 2016

Shopping Day.

Hello everyone,

First of all I just want to say oops for not blogging for over a week, life and other stuff just caught up with me and all my spare moments I needed them to have a chill out time, sorry. Anyway, now I'm back and hopefully won't take as long in between posts! But I did shop..a lot, so expect a Primark and Lush hauls to be up soon. 


On Monday I had a day off work, hallelujah, and I fancied a little shopping trip so I invited my two friends with me, I was kind of stressing about them meeting as we're all seeing Adele together but they had never met. Thankfully the day couldn't have really gone any better, there weren't silence from either of them and we all genuinely had a laugh..my friend actually happy cried in the home ware section of Primark. Now they're meeting is out the way I'm so excited for the 15th of March, I knew they would like each other as my guy friend just gets treated as one of the girls (sorry!) so he isn't overly loaded with 'lad banter', and he likes a good pun which my other friend from work is loaded with..seriously every punny photo she sends me now lives in my camera roll, they're brilliant! 

My main aim was to buy some Mothers Day pieces in Lush and start making a pamper hamper, for my mum, I ended up treating myself a lot as well so watch out for a fairly big Primark haul and a decent Lush haul. I had such a good day and some retail therapy with two of my favourites was exactly what I needed, on the way home we sang our hearts out to Adele and then ending the fun with some cuddles just made the day pretty perfect. 

This post was pretty short and shitty but I felt the need to blog something before I get some real content back. 


Tuesday 2 February 2016

The Best Day.

Hello everyone,

Now I know I've already posted today, please do check that out here if you haven't already, but I've just been having such a good day..I'm finally starting to feel like myself again after feeling a bit 'odd' for a while now.

Through Febuary one of the things that I want to start doing is to do things that scare me. I'm usually the biggest wimp when it comes to speaking my mind and there's been something that I needed and wanted to say to my ex for a very long time, yesterday I finally got the courage to write out all my feelings to send to him. I wrote my message out in the notes of my phone and edited the mini essay a fair few times, just to really pinpoint what I wanted to say in one swift message and I think I felt more comfortable doing it like that as I could prepare myself all day for his reply. Now I had the plan to send it at 9pm, thanks to Facebook having that creepy location thing I could see whether he was still at work, I didn't want to bother him or for him to show any of his work pals..8:54pm and my phone buzzed. It was him. I immediately felt sick and was confused to why he had messaged me, it's like he knew I was going to lay my heart out there. Anyway, long story short he said we needed to talk and it wasn't as much of a conversation like he said as he never replied to me. But I explained that I understood there was no hope in us getting back together, as he doesn't want to, and in his message he said 'I really think you need to move on', he was right! I never really gave myself a period of time to properly get over him as I was more focused on my grandads passing, which happened a few weeks later, which was more important to me but not allowing myself enough grieving time for a broken relationship just made me make some pretty poor choices last year. What he didn't know is that I had moved on physically, I'd been with other people and I'm now happily seeing someone so things are looking good in that respect but I hadn't moved on mentally. Until today. After our little chat I instantly felt better, although I do feel slightly guilty for telling him about my current guy because that seemed to have either shocked him or pissed him off but I needed to let him know that I weren't sitting around waiting for him. I woke up this morning with such a clear mind and felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I've finally moved on and can let him go..I honestly feel amazing about that!

Work has also been amazing today. One person who will probably be reading this will no doubt be shocked I'm saying all this, usually I'm a bit moody in work and just moan the entire time..even though she knows some good parts of the day because I've been texting her my little adventure, but I'll get to that. I started work at 6am today meaning I had to be out of bed by 5am..I forced myself out of bed almost 20 minutes late but I done a full face of make up in record timing and was even early to work so I already felt like I was winning. I had an hour to myself in the department where I just spoke and sang to myself whilst defrosting cakes but after I had finished putting out bits and bobs and setting up for customers to come in I just felt really content. In my hours break I had a productive writing session for tomorrows post, stick around for that one, then when I got back I managed to do minimal work as we weren't busy at all. I even had a good conversation with woman who has recently been nicknamed as Voldemort! Our dishwasher chemicals were running low and there was none in the store, we rung around to local shops to see if they had any we could have and one store did which is about a 20-30 minute drive away, I was bored doing nothing and didn't feel like scraping plates so I voulenteered to go and collect the chemicals which I was allowed so about half an hour after ringing around to get permission to go I was out of that store. I got to the other one and was greeted by the most beautiful man, he was so polite and made small talk with me then he offered to carry the heavy chemicals to my car..thank you to the gorgeous face and funny personality, he brightened my day a lot! By the time I had drove back to my store, set up the dishwasher to run properly again and had my break I only had 15 minutes left to actually do work..result!

Being on a roll I thought I would arrange a few things for my next days off. Thursday I have the guy that's hopefully sticking around for a bit coming to my house for a movie afternoon, usually I go to his which is fine by me but I think he secretly wants to bump into my family to see my awkwardness! Monday I have a fun shopping spree planned where I'm just going to smell all the deliciousness from Lush and run around the Disney store..I can never contain my excitement in there!

I then ended my day by having an amazing gym session and now I've got tomorrows post to take photos for and edit. Hope you enjoyed this little bonus post, I'm just so happy with how this day is going that I had to share it as I geniunely feel happy now..hopefully no more fake smiles for a while!



Hello February.

Hello everyone,

January has gone so quick and I can't even remember what I done with most of it, this post was originally going to be a recap of my month but all I can remember is work, getting back into the gym, and getting old feelings back for someone. One thing I can remember very clear is starting my blog. I can't believe that I've stuck to it for this long to be perfectly honest with you but I think this time around it's different as I'm not thinking about what people would want to read, but what I want to write about and that makes a hell of a difference. I have one person to thank for that, if I had never found her blog then I wouldn't have been inspired to start this, so thank you Chloe!



That was the quickest recap ever so I'm changing this to more of a 'what I plan to do this month' type of post instead. The theme for February is always love as Valentine's always creeps up and makes everyone evaluate their love life, and that's exactly what I've been doing all morning! My love life is in a bit of a pickle lately as I'm kind of seeing where things go with someone but he's not the guy I want, I don't want to just settle for someone because he likes me and I'm bored of being lonely but I'm scared that will happen so tonight I'm biting the bullet and laying all my cards out on the table..I don't think anything will happen with him but I just have to get things of my chest as I know Ill regret what I don't say to him more. I might get rejected and be a bit embarrassed but I can deal with that. I can't deal with the 'what if' that would be playing on my mind if I kept quiet!

Now that leads me on to my biggest goal for this month. I don't want to bottle anything up. I'm the type of person who will let all my emotions build up within me as I don't want to feel like I'm burdening people with my problems, after all they're my problems why would anyone need to know. Wrong! For my own sanity I need to rely on my friends more to help me through certain situations because if they're my friends they'll be happy to help, like I'm always there when they need me. I think doing this will help with my overall happiness as I'm the worst person for over-thinking and my mind can play nasty tricks on me. 

Lastly I plan to get fully on track with healthy eating, I'm back to the gym and feel great but I need to sort my eating plan out more to help me get to the fitness level and weight I want to be. I love eating healthily just as much as I like the junk food so I think instead of having a treat day once a week I'll probably change that to every other week and have a treat item..not a day! I'm going to start doing a weekly food plan so I know what I'm eating and when so I can get prepared and I have a bad habit of over buying fruit and vegetables, especially kale, then it goes out of date and that's food and money wasted. 

Love. Happiness. Health. 
That's what I want to achieve in this month, wish me luck! 






Monday 1 February 2016

Body Confidence.

Hello everyone, 

Did you all see my last post about my weight loss? If not then you may want to have a look here as during this I'll be referring back to the things I said as I had to overcome a lot of body confidence issues and I still face issues daily. So here we go.

As you all probably know last year I lost a lot of weight and felt so much better for it, I thought brilliant I've lost weight so I can go about my daily life with much more confidence..but that weren't the case. I became so accustomed to being overweight that I just dealt with it and pretended I was fine with the way I looked, I became so good at convincing other people that even I began to believe my white lies so I gained a lot of confidence but that never stopped me staring in the mirror and hating who I was and what I looked like. I've never felt comfortable in my own skin and I know that there will always be days where I'll look in the mirror and see some sluggish, overweight girl..even if I was skinny my old body would still be on my mind! 

Going from a size 20/22 to a size 16 in a little space of time, in the photo the ages were 5 years apart but I lost the bulk of the weight over 3 months last year, was a big change for me. I thought I would try anything on and fall in love, this has happened in some cases, but there's always the worry of "Do I look fat in this" where before I accepted there was no point in trying to look slimmer so I wore what I wanted. The only reason of this now is because I want to feel more comfortable in a tight fit top as it would show off my hard work but my brain just thinks that clothes are clinging to all my lumpy bits, trust me there's a lot! Where I've been big pretty much all my life it's almost like my skin has outstretched itself as in certain places skin just sags now where there's not as much stuffing, I wanted my skin to shrink not sag but after researching on various websites I've read a lot of people go through this. Now I'm not talking about that much excess skin that you see on the tv where they need to go and have an operation to get everything cut off, so with a lot of dedication and the right training my skin will hopefully start to tone up and I'll feel more comfortable.
My body confidence has changed so much still, before I would walk around pulling clothes over my stomach with my head down now I'll allow my clothes to move how they should with my head held high. People probably still see a plus sized girl walking around but to me I'm the version of me that's always been waiting to break free..so hello world, it's the real me! I didn't think I'd be able to go to the gym and have a good workout, without being paranoid of what people would be thinking, but look at me now going to the gym on my own, unleashingmy arms in no sleeve and embracing all the bits of my body that would always make me feel insecure..my underarms, stomach and thighs!

Now I wish I could tell you how I changed from being shy and having no confidence to a more of an out-going person with real confidence..but I can't. I'm not really sure what changed, apart from the physical difference, but I'm not sure what changed in my mind. I just sort of woke up one day and because I was finally starting to get happy with my physical state my mind just followed, I was proud of myself for what I had achieved so I thought I should show that more!

I'm not sure where I wanted to go with this post and I've just been rambling on without any structure but basically if there's something you can take away from this then remember to always be yourself and confidence is key to that. When I was shy I would worry if people liked me, now I just think if they don't like me for who I am and what I look like then that's their loss.
Let your confidence shine, because you are awesome!